Have you ever wondered why we chase achievements more than personal growth?
As a big fan of semantics, I often think about the meaning of words and their impact on our lives. Recently, I’ve been exploring the differences between “prove” and “improve” — two words that, while seemingly similar, carry vastly different meanings.
Let’s start with the prefix “im-”. It can mean either “not” or “in/into,” depending on its usage.
Not
When added to a word, “im-” negates the word’s original meaning. For example, “immobile” means something that cannot move, while the root word “mobile” means movement. Other words that use “im-” in this way include “impossible”, “immature”, “immortal”, and “imperfect.”
In, into
“Im-” can also be a form of “in-” that’s attached to roots that start with “p”, “b”, or “m”. For example, “im-” + “-migrate” becomes “immigrate”, which means “to travel into”. Other words that use “im-” in this way include “implant”, “import”, and “immunize”.
So, does improve mean “not to prove” or “the process of proving”? Prove relates to demonstrating something — an external measure, like winning or achieving a goal. It focuses on outside validation, asking, “What have I accomplished?” In contrast, improve is about growth, asking, “Who am I becoming, and how am I growing?” Improving is the only time for reflection.
There’s a reason we talk about self-improvement, not self-provement.
In today’s society, there’s an overemphasis on proving ourselves, focusing on education, credentials, and achievements that can be bullet-pointed on a resume. Our lives are often reduced to big single moments — job positions, trips, marathons — highlighting what we’ve done rather than who we are.
Prove = Result Score
Improve = Effort Score
Because character is hard to measure, schools reinforce a proving mindset, grading assignments without considering personality or peer interactions. While colleges have started to emphasize the importance of extracurricular activities, they still often focus on measurable outcomes — such as leadership positions or total volunteer hours — rather than the personal growth and experiences gained from these activities. This approach undervalues the importance of moral development, the cultivation of good habits, and the recognition of progress over time.
The flaw in this grading system lies in its emphasis on past achievements. Proving is backward-looking, concerned with what we did. Improving, however, considers the entire timeline, focusing on future potential and continuous growth.
“Take time to improve but don’t waste time proving.”
Some might argue that they succeed by proving others wrong, driven by spite. However, this approach overlooks inner development, focusing instead on external comparisons and validation. While proving others wrong can be a temporary motivator, it doesn’t lead to lasting satisfaction.
Unlike proving, which is often tied to intensity and specific achievements — such as graduations or awards — improving is an ongoing journey. Improving involves forming habits, and maintaining consistency, which leads to longer good feelings than the fleeting highs of external validation.
For example, I reflect more fondly on my five years of Army service with the missions I went through compared to the day I swore in or got promoted.
The proving vs. improving culture is obvious across different social groups. Ask yourself whether your environments emphasize competition or cooperation. Being around like-minded peers should encourage growth, not just status tracking.
Lastly, let’s discuss Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a psychologist known for his work on the flow state. Flow, a concept describing those moments when you’re completely absorbed in a challenging but doable task, can increase your well-being, creativity, and productivity. Flow aligns closely with the concept of improving.
According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow occurs when there’s a balance between challenge and skill. An imbalance leads to anxiety or boredom. Those focused on proving often find themselves outside the flow state, staying in the boredom zone to maintain a winning streak or seeking quick, easy success, which leads to anxiety.
Let’s face it. We live in a proving, ‘won’t believe it until I see it’, world.
Be one of the few who runs not just to complete a marathon, but to enjoy a life of fitness. Choose to do good deeds without expectation of recognition. Dare to prioritize the intangible benefits of personal growth.
Remember, it’s not about proving your worth to others, but about continually becoming the best version of yourself.